**Disclaimer - it may seem I am up on this particular (or a similar) soapbox often, and I just want to state it is not aimed at anyone or anything in particular. I just often have conversations with myself in my head, then I write them down and want to share them, because perhaps it may help someone else. So that's why I've been posting so much on this issue recently, it's one I've been thinking about quite a bit.**
1 Then
some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem
and asked, 2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the
elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!”
3 Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for
the sake of your tradition? 4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and
mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be
put to death.’ 5 But you say that if anyone declares that what
might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to
God,’ 6 they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it.
Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. 7
You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
8 “‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their
hearts are far from me.
9 They worship me in vain;
their
teachings are merely human rules. ’”
10 Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and
understand. 11 What goes into your mouth does not defile you, but
what comes out of your mouth, that is what defiles you.”
12 Then
the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the
Pharisees were offended when they heard this?”
13 He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not
planted will be pulled up by the roots. 14 Leave them; they are blind
guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”
15 Peter
said, “Explain the parable to us.”
16 “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17 “Don’t
you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then
out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come
from the heart, and these defile you. 19 For out of the heart come
evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false
testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile you; but eating with
unwashed hands does not defile you.” Matthew 15:1-20
This morning, I was pondering several
issues, and wanted to touch on a couple of them. Separate issues, but
all intertwined as well.
1. The idea that a Christian wife and
mother must be a stay-at-home mom. (Titus 2:3-5, Timothy 5:14)
2. That all Christian women must grow
their hair long/never cut it. (1 Corinthians 11:6,15)
3. That women must wear dresses/skirts
and never pants. (Deuteronomy 22:5)
Likewise, teach the older women to
be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to
much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger
women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and
pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their
husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5
So I counsel younger widows to
marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy
no opportunity for slander. - 1 Timothy 5:14
To begin, there have been very few
cultures throughout history in which women even could be a
“stay-at-home” mother. Most were simply trying to survive. Even
in our American culture, it is very recent that almost anyone can
afford one parent to stay at home while the other works. The lower
classes have always had to work, all throughout history and even in
some cultures still. Black slaves in recent history had no such
option. There is no way we can take 1 or 2 verses picked out and call
them God's “ideal” if they cannot be applied to everyone, every
culture, every time era. God's “ideals” transcend all human
thought, laws, cultural divides, and time eras. God has no “ideal”
lifestyle for His children – why else would He have created such
diversity?
Neither of those verses state all women
must be a stay-at-home mother, and there is "no way" God might call her
to something different (such as the mother working and the father
staying at home). Or both parents working, as may be necessary in
many cases.
I am not saying I think being a
stay-at-home mother is somehow “wrong” or “lesser” than
pursuing a career, it is my dream and desire to be a stay-at-home mom
myself. I am simply making the case that it is in no sense “God's
ideal” or any sort of mandate He's place on His children.
If it is not applicable to every
nation, culture and time era, it is not God's mandate or ideal.
The same ruling should apply to
hair/clothing as well. What is “men's clothing” or “women's
clothing”, and what is the standard we are basing that off of? Our
current culture? The 1800s? If we're taking for example, the 1800s...
whose 1800s, America's, Europe's, Asia's? Because they all were
completely different from each other.
Back in Bible times (through many of
those time eras and cultures), everyone wore robes... which in our
current culture appear quite similar to dresses. Does that mean Jesus
was cross-dressing? Does that mean Scottish men are wrong to follow
their ancient tradition of kilts because we in America don't do that,
and kilts look like a skirt? What are we basing this “clothing
ideal” off of anyway? What constitutes “men's” or “women's”
clothing changes with every time era, every culture – it is
constantly in a state of change. However, no matter what culture you
are in, there is always distinctions between what is men's or women's
clothing. It makes far more sense that this verse:
A woman must not wear men’s
clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God
detests anyone who does this. Deuteronomy 22:5
Would be talking about
cross-dressing/transvestite actions, rather than specific articles of
clothing (pants or skirts) that eternally are “men's” or
“women's”. That doesn't even make sense, in light of all the
cultures that have come and gone in the thousands of years the world
has been around.
Some say that 1 Corinthians 11 is
stating women should wear a veil/scarf on their head always (or
especially when praying). Others say no, just grow their hair long.
And even others state it is simply meaning “do not ever cut your
hair.” (You can read my breakdown of that passage here:
daughterlivingfree.blogspot.com/2012/07/power-on-my-head.html)
But that stipulation only makes sense
in a culture like ours, where hair is something of an afterthought,
and is simple to deal with. However, what about countries where the
women shave all their hair off simply because they have no way to
take care of it? (Like, say, all of Africa.) Are they “shamed”
then, because they do whatever is easiest with their hair because IT
DOESN'T MATTER, and they have other things to worry about, like
survival? Even in the western countries black women have incredibly
unmanageable hair when grown out.
To tell women in third world countries
they must “grow their hair long” (which in many cases isn't even
possible – some women cannot physically grow their hair long), or
“never cut their hair” would be putting a terrible and completely
unnecessary burden on them. Does God really put such massive physical
burdens on us, burdens that have 0 eternal significance? That just
doesn't make sense.
God does not give mandates that only
some can accomplish. God is not about arbitrary man-made rules, or
really outward appearance at all.
But the
Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his
physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not
see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the
Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Once you make outward appearance
important, a mandate, then THAT BECOMES YOUR WHOLE FOCUS! It suddenly
becomes more important to “look right” than to actually be
righteous, to love others, and to focus on spreading God's word!
Yes, God does put difficult burdens on
us. He commands us to forgive, not to lust, to be holy. He burdens me
to pray for the lost. He commands us to love others as He loves us.
He tells us to give, and serve, and be a light. These can be very
difficult to accomplish, even in the power of His Spirit. But what do
all of those have in common that is different from
hair/clothing/staying at home? They all are heart issues and have
eternal significance, whereas hair/clothing/staying at home are
simply physical issues that morph and change every few decades. They
are simply part of this physical world that means nothing in light of
eternity.
'These people honor me with their
lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in
vain;
their teachings are merely human rules.’
You have let go of the commands of
God and are holding on to human traditions. Mark 7:6b-8
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