Procrastination and Incentive

I want to say something valuable.

But what do I have to say?

I have so many ideas, so many inspirations, so much I want to do and say and paint and write... and yet. And yet I have no motivation to do any of it.

Sometimes I wonder if procrastination is more a part of me than being a writer or a painter.

And yet.

I want to be the writer everyone wants to read. I want motivation to bring that dream to life.

I want to be the artist everyone wants to have on their wall. I need a spark of inspiration strong enough to take me all the way through to fruition.

Where is my motivation and where did my inspiration disappear to?

I know what it will require of me. I know how to get it back, I do.

I just don't want to.

I don't because it will require something of me. It will require early mornings and commitment every day. It will require willpower and a solid resolve to do what I need to.

When I say early morning I mean 5 am. 6 at the latest, if I really want to get inspiration back.

I want someone to give me the incentive, to want to read what I write. But I have to write it first, right? Well, it's half-written, I only have to finish it. I only have to get up early.

I only have to push myself to want to again.

Thankful for Others?

Thankful for Who Now?! (Link)

This article made me think...

It's so easy to be thankful for people who never annoy us, who are always there, who laugh and cry with us, who are our best friends and close family members.

But what about those whose little idiosyncrasies drive us crazy? What about those who impose on our personal space and never seem to leave us alone? What about the person who doesn't trust you and always seems to see the worst?

Maybe that person who is always pushing to be your best friend, even though you find them slightly annoying, really has no-one else to turn to as a friend. Maybe those little idiosyncrasies are the results of a broken childhood.

It's so easy to get caught up in my feelings of annoyance, or aggravation at people and think that gives me a right to not love them, or not be kind to them. What am I, that they are not? Am I a perfect person, that I can make such judgment calls about others?

I want to be close, but only to a point. I want to hold others at a distance, to judge them for their vulnerabilities, but keep my own safely hidden from sight.

We need to be open, vulnerable to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Not to the point of sharing our deepest thoughts and emotions unwittingly, but not so far removed that we can't share with anyone who doesn't agree with us in every way.

I want to see others for who they are in God's eyes. Precious. Unique. Worth dying for. Even despite their weaknesses, their mistakes, their absurdities. God still loves them.

The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:31

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

I want to love others the way God loves others. I want to be thankful for their place in my life, and to add to theirs in the best way I can.