|Teen Challenge from Tucson.|
The service this morning held an interesting question for me. Teen Challenge of Tucson came down and sang a couple songs, and the leader had a short sermon prepared as well. Anyways, one particular statement really struck me.
Is your identity based in your talents/possessions/relationships or in Christ?
Which led me to another line of thought... Am I a Christ-follower first and artist second? Or vice versa? If I am being honest, it is usually first an artist and second a Christ-follower.
I have a lot of confidence in my abilities. I know what I can do, and I know I can do it well. I don't think this is always a bad thing, but I do certainly think it can become a bad thing.
Oftentimes, I want God to show me what I can do for Him, how I can serve through the things I know, how I can use my abilities to touch lives. I want the game plan so I can get it done, because I know I have the ability to.
And that is just the problem. Where is God at work if I already am able to accomplish it all on my own? When do I learn to trust if I can handle all of my situations with ease? How do I learn to step out in faith if I can just do what I set out to do solely by my own willpower?
It's a comfort zone of mine. I know my talents and abilities, and I do believe God gave them to me for a reason... but I have a tendency to lean only on the things I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I cannot fail at. I want to serve God... my way.
I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone. It's comfortable to sit in my home painting a picture for someone. I cannot fail at that. But God wants me for more than just doing good things in my own power. He wants me to perform miracles, to change lives. He wants me to speak his word, to make an impact. Perhaps a part of that will come through art, I don't doubt that it will... But a larger part of me fears that I will be taken from where I'm comfortable and thrown into a situation I can't handle on my own, be called to pray for things that are impossible, asked to accomplish tasks that must be divinely orchestrated in order to succeed.
I need to step out into living by faith, and leaning on God's power rather than my own strength. Instead of focusing on how great I am, looking to Jesus for my validation and strength. I am not sure yet how this will play out, but I can feel a change is coming in some form. I only pray that I will be ready when my comfort zone is gone and I can do nothing but lean on Jesus.