God Is Good

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. James 1: 12-18

God is good. That's pretty much a given, isn't it? He is good. I know that – head knowledge – but do I truly believe it? Do I believe that all of His gifts are good and perfect? That every day is a gift from Him even if I don't feel it in that moment?

We discussed this passage at a college group Bible study last night, and what mostly struck me was the discussion we had about the fact that keeping our eyes focused on God's goodness and gifts can be a deterrent to sin, and how the opposite is true as well – losing sight of God's goodness can make one vulnerable to compromise, justification, and slipping into things you didn't want to do and places you swore you'd never go.

It is easy to lose sight of God and His will, bit by bit, piece by piece, until it feels like I'm a mile away and I don't know how I got there. Once I have lost sight of God's goodness and generosity, satan comes and whispers more lies, states God is not good, that He means harm for me, or at the very least that He is bent on keeping from me what should be mine.

At that point, it becomes an easy thing to simply create my own “happiness”. Trust me – I've tried it, even to the point of creating a romance where there should not be one – and eventually breaking a man's heart in the process. Even during the “romance”, it became too easy to slip a little here, justify a bit there, and then find myself deeper in justification than I thought I'd ever be.

So I backed up. I redetermined what is and what should be. I prioritized. It is easy, in a moment, to determine; “I will keep my eyes on God, I will be fully content to wait on His timing!”. Not so easy is the actual outworking of that, the daily struggle to maintain contentment – it can be very difficult.

But it is so necessary.

If I don't have hope that God will work good in my life, then I can only trust in myself to work that out. If my eyes aren't set fully on His goodness and mercy and love – rather than the trappings of comfort in this world – I begin to wonder how to give myself the gifts I expect from God. The problem is that only God can give good and perfect gifts.

Only He knows my past, present and future. Only He knows what I need to do the most meaningful and fruitful work for Him. I may think I know what I need, but often what I think I need and what God gives me in reality are two very different things. I may not see it at first, but I hold fast to the promise; God gives good and perfect gifts continually, and He never changes.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

That is the promise He has made, that if I love Him and am called according to His purpose, He will work all things together for my good. Even if the situation isn't my “ideal”. Really, my ideal should be based on His anyway. What is His ideal? Whatever brings the most glory to God; in me, through me, and reaching out to touch others with His love. I claim that ideal as my own!

It will be difficult, to keep my eyes and heart fixed on the prize before me, on God's perfect will, rather than the comfort, distraction, and temptations of the world. I will falter, and I will fail; perfection will only be reached when I've stepped into heaven.

But I can, every day, make the determination and commitment that today I will focus on the Lord. Today I will stand firm. Today I will be content in whatever situation comes my way, and whatever I have to deal with. I can only live one day at a time, and I will live today with my eyes fixed on Jesus.

Back to Writing

So... I'm back to writing again.

It definitely feels good. It's been too long since I was working on a book, figuring out a plot, sharing my life with interesting characters.

My process, I'm finding, is changing quite a bit. Firstly, I have to make allowances for work. Before I began working, I would always write in the morning; starting before 8am, always ending sometime before 12. Now, I've found my inspiration hitting at work, and the various minutes between calls (sometimes 1 or 2, other times as many as 10) becoming my new writing schedule.

Another thing that is (quite drastically) different, is that I only just now decided to try outlining. Before, I just jumped right in and wrote, working the story out as I wrote it. That did work for me, in many ways, but in others I can definitely see where it was lacking. Sometimes I would get stuck for weeks trying to figure out "why are they doing this?", and that utterly kills inspiration.

I was always against outlines, I never wanted to spend the time, it always seemed like so much work... for what? Plus, I always wanted to just dive in and WRITE. However, I recently changed my mind. Or rather, someone changed my mind for me.

That who was Kathryn M. Weiland, and her book, Outlining Your Novel: Map Your Way to Success, (http://www.kmweiland.com/books_OYN.php). She makes a good argument for it... and it is really helping me so far!

It's really interesting to see my process modify itself to fit in my current life situation. I never thought I could change it before, but was pleasantly surprised to find it popped up when I least expected it!

So anyways, that's where I'm at, working on the rewrite of my 3rd novel, and trying out outlining for the first time... which is actually working really well at this point!

If you want to read Kathryn M. Weiland's blog, you can catch that here http://wordplay-kmweiland.blogspot.com/

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Thanksgiving kinda snuck up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and screamed "boo!" in my ear. Tomorrow I've got a bedroom to clean, pies to bake, kids to watch, and presents to make... "I'm swamped!"

And then Christmas... only one month till Christmas Eve eve! How did this year slip by so fast? I'm kinda sad... as a kid, everything seemed to take ten years to happen. Christmas Eve night was a year long, and it felt like it would never end.

Now, it seems like everything just goes by too fast! Every day zips by, and then it's gone. Everyone grows up too fast around me.

And Christmas. I love how steady it is. Each year different, and yet the traditions are always the same. This year is my last year with those traditions... next year I will be starting new Christmas traditions with my now-fiance, then-husband.

Maybe we will try to hold onto old traditions with all our might. Maybe we will create new traditions no-one has ever heard of before. Maybe we will just be boring and sit around a pathetic tree just the two of us and open the presents we got each other.

In any case, this really is my favorite time of the year, since I get to do one of my favorite things... bake desserts and give people presents!

The Perfect Day

Just a little piece I wrote earlier this year...

It's the kind of day a photo can't share. The clouds a soft gray, the sun just heading down. 

The breeze picks up grabbing your hair and whipping it into the air. The trees rustle like the days in your childhood, birds chirping their good evening song. It's cool but not cold, 

and the road stretches before you like a never ending trail.

It's the days of your youth living again, the days you never want to forget. The sun glistens gold on the edge of the horizon. Clouds spread bustily across the sky in ripples of silver and pure white. The sun comes out for a moment, blinding and sharp.

Shadows of the people are long, long, long, stretching far down the road. 

Just a moment and the sun is caught behind a tree.
Everything shines gold with shadows in between. 

It's the picture perfect moment that a camera can't capture. 

Then the sun is in your eyes again and the road is flooded with light. 

Wind picks up, blowing hard against your face. The sun dips just below the horizon, glowing brighter than ever while the world all around turns to gray. The first day of summer, so beautiful, so lovely.

This is the perfect day.

Working Woman

I've got a job. Working at a customer service call center, and I start Monday. The hours (at least for the first month) are just what I like, 6am-2:30pm. Though that means I can't write, I'm hoping to catch up at a different time of day (like that will work :-P My inspiration is NOT very flexible)

It should be pretty interesting, though I won't have much time for painting anymore. I guess I don't mind too much, since I will still have afternoons/weekends free, and the pay will be worth it.

It's like one of those "growing up" things. You don't really WANT to do it, but you have to. As a kid, money never seemed far away, my parents always had money, I was always provided with what I needed and some of what I wanted... it couldn't be that hard to GET money, right?

Heh. Heh. Yeah, you're probably laughing with me here... :D

It seems so far away now, the innocent logic of a kid. That somehow money would fall in my lap, would be readily available when I needed it, as it seemed to with my parents and older siblings.

I hope someday to realize my dream, and be able to make a living off of art and writing, or to work from home and have enough time to fully use my talents to paint whatever I want.

For now, I'm not leaving the chance to make and save some money... that's ALWAYS a good thing. :-D

Book Review: The Dragons of Chiril

  "The Dragons of Chiril" by Donita K. Paul, is a book revolving around a young woman named Tipper and the quest she goes on with many varied companions, to save her father's life and restore the disintegrating world.

  It is not so much about dragons as it is about each of the companions and their personal growth during the quest. The premise was quite interesting, but the execution of it, not so well done.

  The beginning was very slow, and until halfway through the book, I had to force myself to read on, just for the sake of this review. Halfway through it became easier to read and the pace picked up, but I didn't really start to care about the characters until the last few chapters.

  Much of the dialogue was confusing, it was hard to tell who was talking, and I had to read over what I had already read more than once. The character and location names were unnecessarily long and confusing.

  All in all, it was an interesting read, though the ending was a bit rushed. I would not read it again. I give it 2/5 stars.

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You can also read my review on Blogging for Books here: http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks/reviews/view/12654

To Write

So.

I have a new book idea (yay!). I can't work on it yet as I am currently editing my novel "Enchanted Rose" for self-publication this December.

I can't really say much about it, other than I can't say much and it has a lot to do with what has been going through my head lately; regarding authoritarian/abusive families.

I suppose it will be sort of a way to get my thoughts down on paper, what I can't find any other way to really say. Not that it will be "preachy", but more my perspective on that mindset (which is NOT pretty, to say the least :-P).

It's hard sometimes to write down what I am thinking, to really put down all of my thoughts. In a book, however, through the eyes of a character, it becomes much easier. Somehow the character becomes my voice, even if I don't agree with what they say or think.

My fingers are already itching to start typing this new book out, though I haven't even worked out all the details I will need. I love the potential of a new idea.

In other news, I'm starting my costume for Halloween/Harvest Festival soon. :-D Also, 5am is VERY early. :-P

Alas, my writing demands it, and that demand I cannot refuse.